GOODBYE?

I've been thinking about this blog lately.

What am I even doing with it?

At first I wanted to let my feelings about Jonghyun out. I wanted to get better by writing about it, since I wasn't strong enough to talk about it. 

But I've been doing okay lately. I don't mention Jonghyun in my blog posts. I've been caught up in other things.

I still miss him like crazy. I still love him more than anything in the world.

But I don't have the need to cry every day about it. I don't feel the need to pity myself. I'm.. okay.

So what have I been writing about?

Nothing, really.

I keep forgetting I have to write and then I just bullshit stuff, which isn't the point of this. I want to write because I want to, not because I feel pressured to.

And my life is really boring. I have nothing to write about. Do you really want to read about me finding yet another group to stan and falling for another cute boy or girl? Of course you don't.

So I've decided to stop this.

I can deal with my feelings for Jonghyun on my own and I don't want to overshare other parts of my life anymore. 

So what if I'm sad about something that isn't Jonghyun? That isn't something I should share online.

These past couple of months were fun but the last two months felt like a job I don't get paid for and it's just... annoying.

So.. This is goodbye, I guess.

I just want you to know that all your feelings are valid. No matter how stupid you think feeling sad about something "irrelevant" is, they're your feelings and you shouldn't feel bad about them. I also want you to know that you should appreciate the people around you and give them all your love and as much time as you can because you never know when you can lose them. I want you to enjoy life as much as you possibly can and try to be happy about the little things.

Because that's what I'm trying to do.

I'm trying to get better. I've gotten much better since my first post here and I'm really happy about it.

Thank you for reading my stupid thoughts for the last couple of months and being here for my progress and growth. :-)